


Eye Lasers

by Fedora



Category: Elementary (TV), Sherlock (TV)
Genre: A Wizard Did It, Crossover, Gen, Humor, slight crack, travel between alternate universes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-02
Updated: 2013-03-02
Packaged: 2017-12-04 02:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/705407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fedora/pseuds/Fedora
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock makes a game of lying to himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eye Lasers

“You should be nicer to her.”

“What?”

Sherlock scowled at his doppelganger, and John sighed. He hoped this argument would reach the ignoring the other stage before Joan returned from the washroom.

“Joan Watson. You should be nicer to her.” The other Sherlock clipped his words like each was a sniper shot and shifted slightly to what he assumed was a confidential pose. “She can kill you with her eye lasers.”

His Sherlock scoffed and rolled his eyes; doubling the Sherlocks doubled the melodrama.

“Truly. All surgeons back home have eye lasers. It's more efficient.” He then gave John a long sorrowful look, as if to say, 'I'm sorry. It's a shame you aren't from my strange American alternate universe so that you may have eye lasers as well.'

“Her face shows no signs of the kind of surgery needed to implant ocular lasers.”

“We, your apparent doubles, have appeared from Mirror America, with no passports nor even method of transportation. I think a civilization with that level of technology could produce undetectable eye lasers.”

He paused expectantly, and when no one reacted, he brought both hands up near his eyes and flicked each pointer finger in turn. “Pew. Pew.”

Finally, John nodded. It was reasonable; the level of technology that would allow travel between alternate universes should allow for undetectable eye lasers.

Sherlock locked his jaw and said, “She's a surgeon; she should have enough control to not accidentally harm someone. And if she's a Watson she wouldn't cause harm deliberately.”

“Ex-surgeon. And anger can make control difficult. Besides Watsons are viscous when provoked, and she can easily hide the physical evidence." The Mirror Sherlock grinned like a little boy about to test the effects of a magnifying glass on a colony of ants. "Who on your Scotland Yard would even think to look for eye lasers?”

Sherlock stared at his skull for a long moment, before giving John a disappointed look. John realized he had just lost points in a contest he didn't know was happening.

“All right.” Joan came back winding one of Mrs. Hudson's scarves around her neck.

Sherlock stepped forward into her personal space and attempted to grab her chin.

She stepped back and scowled. “Excuse you. It's polite to ask first.”

“May I?”

“No. Let's go see this mysterious older brother.”

Sherlock scowled, and Joan glared. Behind Joan's back the double made the laser motions again, this time without the sound effects. Finally, Sherlock straightened and stalked out the door. The extra Sherlock followed, at ease with the world. The Watsons shrugged and followed the Sherlocks out to the street.

“I'm sorry, but haven't you gotten yours to learn any manners yet?”

“Well." John paused. He didn't want to ask outright, but it would be good to know how much truth there was in the warning. "I don't have eye lasers to keep him in line.”

Joan laughed.

**Author's Note:**

> I just want to make this clear, because it's entirely too possible, Joan doesn't actually have eye lasers. 
> 
> Although a cyberpunk AU would be a tremendous amount of awesome.


End file.
